It’s an interesting time right now, my sweets. What do you do with yourself when you are between the “knowing what you’re doing” ‘s? It’s an interesting time. I feel torn. There are things I want to say but I don’t think it’s time to say them. I will but it has to be later . . . . to protect the indigent . . . insolent . . . whatever…
But what I can say is, what a ride this is. Here I am, trying to discover what I’m doing next. And in the meantime, I’m playing around with everything. I’m learning how to sew – slowly. LOL I am taking some online courses of interest. I’m starting to do some writing. Actually, what has made me think of doing some writing has been the response to my blogs. So thank you to all of you who read and commented. I really like writing, I just don’t do it often.
In fact, that makes me think – I would love it if any or all of you who are reading this might consider jotting down to me what you like – if you like anything – about my blogs. I don’t mean that to stroke my ego. I mean that it would be helpful to know where my strengths are so I can develop them. Please don’t include the negative, I will have enough of that in my own head about it. 😛 But any little insight into what, if anything, I have to offer as a writer would be hugely appreciated. Thank you in advance.
Anyway, when I talk to people about this place I’m in these days, this place of exploration and expansion, they talk about how brave I am. But I have to say, I don’t really feel brave. I love change, I’ve always loved change. What is getting to me is the waiting. I’m not waiting idly, as I’ve made clear above. But the waiting to see where I feel the fire that directs my passion for the next phase. And so some days, I feel elated and giddy and excited. And other days (well, moments rather than days), I feel a little sad and lost. That doesn’t alarm me, even though I occasionally feel like a socialite, off her meds. I know it’s just growing pains. The only thing is it does end up being a bit of an emotional ride.
There are moments where I feel lazy or dumb or incompetent. Then there are moments I feel energized and brilliant and I’ve figured out the world. Yes, I know, you’re saying, “Thom, you boob, we all feel like that sometimes.” Well first of all, how dare you call me boob, that is reserved for my close friends. And second of all, I know that. What is kooky is that the diaposing (terrible bastardization of that word) of the different feelings will be within minutes of each other. Again, growing pains.
So, I work and wait but I don’t wallow. I’m really enjoying the ride. It a constant fascination.
In the meantime, I’m doing little things that make me happy. If I feel a warm openness in my solar plexus when I’m asked to do something, I’ll do it. If I feel a tightening or closed feeling, I say “no”. No matter how great it sounds on paper. I’m determined to follow my instincts to glory, this round.
To that end, I’m doing little gigs for the time being. The most immediate, and in many ways the most exciting, is that I’ll be one of the six actors at the Banff Centre for the Playwrights Colony this April. I’m very excited.
For two weeks I will be in Banff and available to read the works-in-progress of 10 Canadian playwrights along with international writers and composers and directors. My pal, Steven Gallagher, was a part of the acting company last year and had a wonderful time. I love the idea of being in the mecca that is Banff. Perhaps I’ll do some writing of my own with my free time. Get inspired by the energy there. It’s all part of this new journey.
Then I’ll be one of the guest performers for an amazing event called the Heart and Vision Awards Concert on May 11. It’s the 7th year where they honour two amazing people who have contributed significantly to social justice initiatives in Canada and internationally. I performed last year where the honourees were Jackie Richardson and Shirley Douglas. This year the honourees are Lieutenant General Roméo Dallaire and Mary Jo Leddy (I’ll let you look them up) and it’s always a wonderful evening.
Then I’m going to be part of an evening for Jewish Music Week. No jokes please. I’m not sure I can talk about it yet but it’s going to amazing. It will be on May 14 and I will make sure to spread the word but you can also keep tabs here:
And then a couple of things out of town. OH, plus. I will keep you abreast. My TV show, KILLJOYS, will start airing in the summer. Not sure when but I will be all over that. You can see a little onset teaser here:
And yes, you can see me several times, behind my bar in the clip. It looks cool. And there are different planets so ours is just one. No aliens though, just humans.
Not sure I have much else to say.
I think I will document the Banff experience. I did that with my move to NYC and it was really fun to have the ongoing explorating/documentary thing going on. We’ll see. And when I say, “we’ll see”, I don’t mean like when your mother said that and it meant, “no”!!
If any of you are new, I had a problem with my login on the old blog so it’s still up but I can’t get to it anymore but if you want to go and enjoy the journey, the link is on the right but I will put it below in case there’s a problem:
Okay well that’s all for now, I guess. I’ll try to write more consistantly.